CAUCUS?!? WELL CAUCU BUDDY! PART THREE

Valerie puts her federal reserve notes where her mouth is. This chick actually infected the ze local partee and has been building a base from the inside since the last time we and Ron Paul danced this waltz. I can only imagine how she endured the disingenuous smiles, shakes of the hand and pats on the back at the monthly eat ins from the sagging stalwarts now attempting to spit in the face of what she has heavily helped to build. Yet there she stands in the gap doing the best she can to attempt for both sides to come to a reasonable conclusion and callin’ em as she’s seein’ em. Then the unthinkable happens which makes this little lady roar with her still, small voice in utter disgust.

Kevin, the perpetual thorn in the side of your depends, had rustled up the chairmen something fierce, something to the point of making the poor man do a mix between a mister bojangles of rage and a Jack the pumpkin king impression, and Jack’s on fire. Thought his little head was going to wobble right off I did.

The chairmen pointed his finger towards the bothersome little Paul bot whose ratio of piss and vinegar was way in the favor of piss and advised him to “Sit down and Shut Up!”…..….the room was nothing but ‘Puss N Boots’ ooooohh kitties. Yup, the no pun intended cat was out of the bag. The republican senior discounted did want us in the room, they just wanted us to be in the room very, very quietly. Not even a one foot voice. Well Valerie would have none of it and used her big girl voice to let them know how unacceptable it was, all the while the dude in the corner (Ron Paul supporter) who happened to catch the chairmen flip his Centrum Silver on camera, was soon hovered over by the handy dandy police officer just trying to keep the peace and escorted out of the building. Then it was speech time and this round little grey haired man that had been fumbling with his belongings the entire time in the similitude of the skipper from “Gilligan’s Island” took the floor in a pacing, heartfelt tirade on how we all needed to stop fighting with one another and kum by yah all the way to facing off Obama with a limp one in the wrist, whatever that means.

Not content to be tussled to the floor by a man under the impression this was some type of Shakespearean speech tryout, Kevin bypasses his teary eyed warnings of Obama turning us into a communist nation with a cut right back to the heart of the matter. The main bone of contention that those who formally held the reins against us was allegedly that they had been loyal to the party for years therefore should get first pickins’ when it came to delegate slots. Kevin breaks it down into bite size kibbles and bits for them letting them know that he understands why that would seem to make a lot of sense and why they would want to do that, but surely they should see that such one sidedness is a deterrent to newcomers who have yet to prove their loyalty to the party. Then just to add an extra bitch slap he cites the party rules which so much as state the flower bed that had just blossomed from his mouth. The chairmen attempts to poke holes through the ironclad Paul Bot mentality of being right is more important than being experienced and compares this whole thing to going to have surgery. Would you rather have an experienced brain surgeon or his brand new intern? Well mister chairmen the answer is that the hypothetical brain surgeon has the wrong diagnosis which will lead to us ending up amputees, so honestly we would rather go with the intern that at least knows what the problem is. He tries to pull the “you guys wouldn’t know what to do at the next convention if you got there” routine completely ignoring the fact that the reason this meeting is running way past twelve and motions, points of discussion, and demands for division are being tossed out left and right is because we know exactly what we are doing. The next words out of his mouth are nothing less than a slight crack in the Pandora’s box of his feelings as he tries to lull us to sleep with the lullaby of how they want us to be a part of this but that they think it best to guide us along, show us the ropes, show us how to vote, what to think, what wins elections and all the other neat tricks that at last check gave us John McCain. Having already denigrated our good chap, Kevin, several times already he attempts a sooth of the wounds and begs Kevin and all those like him to simply “come along” and stop this foolishness of changing anything.

At this point I had witnessed Kevin charge the field first, Valerie flank right, these two awesome vets behind me flank left, a housewife blow the horns of war with her kick ass credentials of being an educated woman by goodly two shoes. I’d watched as the guy who recruited me into all this four years ago, Brian, like a pimp stand up completely towering over everyone in the room, throw down four hundred feddies so we could stay in the joint longer and so the wrinkle league would shut the hell up about it already. Mine eyes beheld the old guard pull a ‘Hatch’s Law’ in attempt to shut out active duty military from even being eligible to serve as delegates only to be kung fu’ed out of the room by Jarrett, this cybernetic samurai who without flinching lets his fingers do the googling only to have the actual text of the law within interdimensional nanoseconds. He stands, cites the law which is a far stretch from the interpretation of the chairmen, fights the “Sorry I smeared your butter on the wrong side of the toast” smile and simply sits like chief sitting bull concluding a negotiation that was all in his favor and best you be on your way now. At this juncture I would not have suspected that another could rise whose shadow was tall enough to cool a warm valley until this Heath fellow rose to interject.

This guy should have had a pulpit slammed right in front of him the second he got to his feet because this man was nothing less than a fire and brimstone preacher of the Truth. First thing I said to myself when he became a shining city on a hill was “Yeah…this guys packing heat.” I almost thought we were going to pass a collection plate around as Heath book, chapter and versed the old guard with a healthy portion of the gospel of liberty by breaking down that their point of us not knowing what we were doing was moot because ole Kevin over there appears to be doing this thing by the book…with a smile…a calm, cool, collected serial killer smile. This neo-John the Baptist erupts with righteous indignation towards the chairmen letting him know that it has not gone unnoticed that his “seasoned wisdom” that only wants to show us the way has only reacted to Kevin and his ilk with nothing but spurious venom since this whole thing began which not only was uncalled for but evidence that the ones having trouble understanding the rules and the point of this whole process was in fact the high pants club. All I’ve got to say about Heath after his echo of the original Baptist gangsters that made up a large chunk of the first revolutionary black robe brigade that gave us the first amendment is to steer clear of young, curvaceous ladies hauling chargers around.

The old guard pushes back with accusations that they’ve seen this sort of thing before, young insurgents show up only for the convention to attempt a hijack and then they are never heard from again, so why should we be appointed in light of that? Is it really a hijacking if you’re trying to get the wheel from a drunken granny, though? I don’t know just think about it. So Neo-John spins that top the other way around and calls on all us young wipper snappers to pledge not to do this thing today then vanish into thin air for four years, rather become involved and stick with this process all year round. What he’s actually asking us to pledge is to take over the party but you could’ve only heard that if you had your Paul Bot universal code translator activated at the time. See it pays to be a Paul Bot. Do you see Romney supporters hearing Mitty actually say that he’s really Barak Obama wearing a really cheap Halloween shop, Ronald Reagan mask? No, you bet your magic underoos you don’t. Then what I had suspected would inevitably happen, did happen. I hate to do this I really do because in writing this I had the highest of hopes that it would be a piece that does nothing but emphasize how victorious we are becoming and how victorious we are already, so as much as it pains me I’m going to have to waft down from my cloud of complimenitive platitudes and get a little snarky for a minute. Beg thy pardon.

As I have laid bare before thee many times hence, I believe in universal duality. I believe that there is certainly a negative/positive, good/evil dichotomy intrinsic to the world in which we live. I think that most of the time we become confused on which one is which due to the wretched ball and chain around our ankles known as culture. We are conditioned to view the world from the point of view of all those who have come before us in our particular people groups and it is the blinders of culture that keep us from being able to take a few steps back and actually look at this whole picture with perspective. Even for those of us who know this truth, actually doing it can still be tricky sometimes. When you do though, you might see that you have more in common with those labeled your enemy than those labeled your friend. I digress. Long and the short of it is this; where there is a positive pushing in one direction you can be pinky sworn to the fact that there is a negative challenging its progress. Regardless of good intent or no, where there is sound logic it will be opposed by logic most flawed. Where there is common sense common fiat will ever be present. Where there is an educated point of view it is guaranteed to be stridden along side of by a point of view fractured by that culture we were just talking about. Now let me illustrate the case in point with this douche wad that was sitting a few seats down from me.

First let me paint the visual, I think that’s effective. Do you remember the first victim from the movie “Seven”? The one who met his untimely demise by way of spaghetti sauce. Okay now that you have that in your mind imagine he lived, went on the Jared diet for maybe two weeks, put on a sweater vest, developed a weird Canadian\Yankee hybrid accent and then became a mormon. This is the guy sitting in my precinct and I’m sorry and honestly don’t mean to come off as being shallow and hurtful but I am simply of the opinion that because a person doesn’t know that they are complete and utter vestigals of intelligence and purpose doesn’t mean I shouldn’t point it out to them or somehow pretend it isn’t so. Not to mention, you know you dig it.

I’m a watcher you see. I like to watch people and hear them out for a little bit before I decide to interject myself into their thought process. Some are worth it some aren’t. You know what I’m talking about if you’ve ever argued or been in a conversation with someone who despite logic, reason, and wisdom refuse to concede their beliefs. The entire time you’re talking to them you just know that its futile but you keep talking anyway. Well I choose to avoid that headache and make the assessment beforehand because out of the heart of man comes the wind to the flapping lips. Well when this guy sat down at my precinct last go around I had him pegged within just a few minutes, if not the moment I saw his oversized, overinflated, overpriced, over marketed, over the rainbow Mitt Romney badge. The thing was almost the size of his breast which in case you haven’t been following the dots was big. So let me Freud this guy down for you if you’re so inclined to take the scenic route with me.

Probably raised a mormon but definitely a mormon now either way. Kind of started early in life with a little bit of a disadvantage by being big boned (not an excuse for being a douche) and due to that more likely than not became the target of ridicule by those vicious little grade schoolers in his developmental years. Then he, as have we all, reached some apex in his life where the choice had to be made. Do you, in light of your disadvantages become the perpetual victim and allow the unacceptance of the world around you to send you spiraling in a direction which ultimately leads to anger, bitterness, hatred, wrath, and the drive to force others to conform to you by means of force? Or do you simply do as one of the wisest among us said and “Empty your mind. Be formless. Shapeless, like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle. If you put water in a tea pot, it becomes the tea pot Now water can flow or water can crash Be water my friend.” This man taught that there is natural instinct and control and both are extremes which cannot be solely depended on, rather both were needed in balance. This is very similar to what I mean when I speak of universal duality though that’s a different date I think. This is a philosophy which allows you to be by way of allowing others to be.

Yeah, well this guy has clearly chosen the dark side of the force and I would bet my bacon taters he’s never seen a Bruce Lee flick. Pretty early on he decided that because people picked on him he must somehow seek out power. Power for what? Well when you aren’t truly happy with who you are as a person because you measure your value as a person by the people around you, then your deepest desire is to pull a “Paint it Black” and make others change who they are to be more of a mirror image of you. I call this self validation and spun that wheel before so back to the point. So our chubby Anakin needed a field and being the high school quarterback was out of the tea leaves. It had to be in the realm of the cerebral, maybe the obtaining of massive amounts of information and gorging them down the throat of your brain only in no philosophical order in which to make any true use of the data. We use to call that a nerd when I was coming up. Well the only fields where nerds can compete are at comic book conventions and politics. True patriots do too, but on the average they try to stay as far away from government as possible until it becomes absolutely necessary for them to rise up, over take and cleanse the temple. As is our time now.

Little porky Anny opted not to chill out as a human being and stop taking things so seriously, going down the road of getting his pound of flesh while in the process convincing himself that his cause is just. You see my fellow pursuers of a harmonious zen state, there is knowledge and there is passion. Both equally dualistic. You can know everything in the world but without passion you will never be able to understand what you know. On the other side you can be passionate with ignorance at which point passion becomes what I phrase anti-passion. Anti-passion and passion are easy to discern from one another. Passion, which is infused with properly perceived knowledge always moves in the direction of freedom, peace and allowance of other human beings. Anti-passion however, always moves in the direction of bringing about peace through intolerant force. That’s the current leadership of the party, and that’s this guy. No doubt he dabbled in a few debate classes and all his friends are careful to avoid topics he might could turn into an argument because they’re sick of hearing him try to impress them with his anti-passionate rhetoric. Never works though because when he’s sitting at the huddle house sipping on a lemon water and he sees his friend pour ketchup on his scrambled eggs he just has to jump in his lap about it by bloviating on why its socially, economically, philosophically and theologically unacceptable to do so in public. Sheesh.

Here he sits thinking after all his life that he was going to come to his virgin meeting and be the bright and shining star, the flame to which the republican moths would flock to in light of his sheer brilliance. All those dreams shattered when the likes of Kevin and the other Paul Bots stole the show. I could hear him clicking his pen the entire time leading up to this moment and judging by the upswing in rapid clicks this Romnoid was punishing his pen with I knew his ego had had just about enough. There was no longer hope of him riding in on his white horse prophecy and being the bestest and the brightest with those in this room while this room was in such sweet chaos. That’s when the light bulb went off on this guys kolob and he saw an angle from which perchance he could wedge himself into the equation. He rises and addresses the chairmen in effort to bring his brew of sanity to the meeting and the first thing out of this guys mouth is that basically he doesn’t have any idea what he’s talking about. Then he said a bunch of other stuff but quite frankly at that point I started humming “How to disappear Completely” and didn’t waste my brain fat. I apologize for having such a large build up for that and then letting you down but I just had to get that out of my system because I can already tell you that if this Star Wars kid (YouTube it) sticks around ze partee after the election he and I are gonna have a lot of fuuuuuuuuun. At any rate I suppose we might have to settle for isolating the tumor some days rather than removing it completely.

At the end of the day we did pretty good I think. We managed to get most of what we wanted on the first slate and what I might on a sunny day consider a fair compromise on the second but that truly hasn’t been the point of all these words. No what this has been is an attempt to pat those deserving, a pat on the back and to the faint of heart give a message of optimism. Look, I know how bad it is. I know the world seems crazy and only seems to be getting crazier by the nightly news broadcast. I know we have to worry about these insane people who think the patriot act and the NDAA are good things wanting to run everything. I know everywhere we liberty minded folk go we always get cheated, slighted and labeled all sorts of elementary school playground tags. I know our country is following the world into an Orwellian nightmare and I know it’s happening fast, but let’s not let that make us lose sight of the truth in all of this. This dualism I always preach about, you see this is it at perfect working order. Tyranny has been allowed to plume up so fast, so far, so quick and its roots of oppression have gotten a deep, deep grip of the infrastructure. I’m just as infuriated that in our name, soldiers are being used as pawns of war and profit knee deep in the blood of innocent people in lands having no ill will towards us. I’m just as saddened when one of those soldiers can no longer bear the mental assault of what he has been ordered to do and snaps on civilians. I know how disheartened it is to feel that in the midst of all this woe most people are simply too apathetic to expect real changes. One not properly observing would assume the worst and try to cash in their chips but those of us with the pineal gland turned to 11 can see that the opposite side of the scale must now be allowed to push back. By the looks of what happened at the meeting I was present in I’d say we have a nice little 1776 part two in production here. You see in times of great tyranny we have always believed that titans walked the earth and balance was restored. The last most notable cycle we called them the founding fathers. A group of people as flesh and blood as you and I that simply could no longer quell the spirit of liberty within them and from that point simply did what was rational and true to that spirit. In so doing they changed the course of history forever and for a time had the legacy of having built a country who relished in more freedom than the world has ever known.

Someone I’ve yet to point out and have deliberately done so is the sixty nine year old mom standing beside me who up until this year has never voted once in her entire life. Never been into politics, never really understood the constitution or what it actually said somehow in her gut knew that something in this country, to coin a phrase, is terribly wrong. Not quite sure of everything she’s doing or understanding what all these laws and rules being tossed around her are about, she does concretely know that whatever they mean it is absolutely essential that she be exactly where she is at this moment. She’s registered, she’s voted, she’s been elected a delegate and she’s here to stand when the good guys stand and sit when the bad guys scowl. When you get some little old lady action like that let me tell you we don’t need a revolution because our revolution is in the oven. They say that titans once walked the earth but if there’s one thing I want you to leave this yarn with its this; titans are walking now.

D.L. CRUMPTON

STATE OF THE UNION PART ONE

We are on the cusp, lassies and laddies. We are on the absolute cusp of the turning point in history and I look around and wonder just how many of you out there are actually aware of this fact. You see one of the first things you notice when you manage to fiddle your fingers to the back of your skull with the direct desire of removing the plug inserted into your cerebellum, is that our generation (and when I say our generation I mean those of us privileged enough to be alive on this planet at this particular moment in time) has been somehow deceived into believing that there is no more history. We have been fitted with the collar of obedience by thinking that all that can happen has happened already and all we are doing is holding down the fort. I cannot express to you how futile and fruitless that line of thinking actually is. Let’s take a real, long, hard look at this shall we.

            Lets face it, most of the people alive today might as well be soaking in the cyber pod simulated reality we see so prevalent in science fiction these days. Their world may be only in the early days of such a matrix but we on the outside can see the desired effect has still been achieved. Most people’s idea of how the world is and how the world should be is directly formed by the monster in our living rooms and bedrooms known as the television. It, for the masses, has written a narrative of reality and the masses have swallowed it sweet in their mouth and bitter in their belly. They walk around in an unprofound daze, these left brainers as I coin them. Only able to have thoughts in the left side of their brain which we all know lacks the creativity and imagination which is required to really get what’s going on here. Their best friends are judges on meaningless idol shows, their dearest family ties are in the sitcoms they never miss, and what they will wear to work tomorrow will indeed be predetermined by someone spotted on the red carpet of a place made of stone and sand like every other place. They will passionately pronounce their theories on why so and so should win the singing contest, or have a winded discourse on why Jennifer Lopez done been did dirty to but what do you expect from those of us who were raised on MTV and babysat by Kurt Loder and Kennedy? We are a generation that willingly walk around like human commercials and billboards adorning ourselves with name brand sneakers and trendy shirts with logos emblazed across the front so others passing us by know round about how much we spent for a shirt or a pair of jeans that otherwise is inferior when it comes to actually serving the purpose of covering us up and sparing us from the elements. Our cars have now become clownish candy wrappers and the vocabulary of the many has been reduced to what can fit into a text on the face of the latest cell phone that we fit snugly into the back pocket of our pants which now have to be pulled up every other second because their usual placement is well below the area of the crotch.

            There are some in this stock having one foot firmly planted in the materialistic, realize that perhaps they should also be somewhat aware of what’s going on in the world in case they are ever engaged in a conversation about such topics. So they dabble in the realm of world news, and in my estimation are much more dangerous to us than those who simply choose to ignore it all together. The reason I say this is because they limit their delving of the news to small sound bites or five minute pieces aired on the propaganda channel of their choice and walk away feeling they are fully informed when in fact they couldn’t be more ignorant than they were before. Yet, with this flimsy idea of knowing what’s going on they actually go out and vote sometimes and heaven forbid; run for public office on occasion. If there is any doubt to this statement all you need to do is take a look at the current field of candidates running for president of these United States. How is it possible that such a gang of no nothings have managed to slither upwards into the public eye and somehow convince a multitude that they are operating on all cylinders in the area of logical and rational thought? They have though, and what are the fruits of this labor?

            Our country is suppose to be different. Its suppose to be a beacon of freedom, peace and prosperity for the world to envy and to top it all off we invite the downtrodden to make their way to our shores and become a part of such a great experiment, namely a nation not ruled by monarchs or the power elite, but ruled by the people who are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights. To secure this we even have a document called the constitution which enshrines these ideas and to which we demand all in office swear an oath of allegiance to its inklings. How’s that working out for us? Not so good I would have to say. We look to our economy and see it is completely controlled by a privately owned Federal Reserve which can simply print up unseemly amounts of monopoly dollars at the drop of a hat…any hat, and often done before congress can put its hand out. The money is created from thin air, loaned out, and on it interest which is passed on to you and I to pay back with the curious technicality of it actually being impossible to pay back never brought up. I mean have you ever stopped to think about our national debt? Have you ever wondered how insane it is that we are suppose to live in the wealthiest most powerful country in the world yet somewhere on Times Square is a billboard with digital numbers in the negative racing across the eye at warp speed? I mean, you, Billy Smith or Ethel Jones, why is it that you feel obligated to take your hard earned money, money you have created by the sweat of your brow and the passion of your heart, money which in all actuality says something about your value as a human being and send it off to a system which will put it to uses you probably despise and find abhorrent? What are we doing? Why do we not all see the madness of this and if by chance we do why are we only shrugging our shoulders as if this is the way its suppose to be?

            I assume that none of us are actually still under the illusion that there is a terrorist hiding under every doormat or that all our mail is being spiked with anthrax cocktails. I’m sure that most of us know by now that the myth of radical Islamism coming to kill us in our shopping malls is nothing more than a creepy bed time story to keep us distracted from the fact that the C.I.A is actually responsible for putting drugged out, brown skinned, teenagers on airplanes with M-80’s in their fruit of the looms to keep the show going. So why is it then that our government can pass laws like the NDAA which aims to protect Americans by making all Americans terrorists, forever deprived of habeas corpus and subject to a black bag over the head never to be seen again? Why would we allow them to do this knowing full well that the war on terror is actually a war on the frightened and insecure? How is it that we consistently fail to heed the warnings of Ben Franklin when told never to sacrifice liberty for security?

            These crusty old suits filled with what once were men who congregate in the halls of the district of Columbia and simply throw darts at a map of the middle east to choose where next they will claim their little Frankenstein, Al Qaeda is plotting and planning take no thought to the lives which will be shattered and lost at their whimsical wars. They do not see children kissing their uniformed father goodbye, possibly for the last time. They cannot hear the cries of the maimed and crippled civilians of the countries they send eighteen year olds to fly a video game controlled predator drone over reigning hellfire below as it whizzes by. No, the fact that our military has an epidemic of suicides and untreated PTSD does not phase them at all. The depleted uranium which caresses the ammunition they use seeps into their skin and sends them home with a lot of little unexpected treasures like testicular cancer for one, or two. Those of us who have compassion on the soldiers and civilians caught up in a spider web neither weaved and stand up to suggest that perhaps we should stop abusing their loyalty to follow orders by sending them all around the world in wars as of yet undeclared, we are branded with labels like unpatriotic or accused of not supporting the troops. As if sending young men and women into the battle field for three, four, five on up tours of duty which is undoubtedly taking a toll on their psyche somehow equals supporting the troops.

To be continued…